'You married a Chinese guy and you can't figure out a single Chinese dish that you can eat?': 23-year-old wife refuses to eat any of mother-in-law's cooking, plans to blow off family dinner entirely

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 15, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Everyone has a picky eater in their life. Maybe you had a lot more of them when you were a kid, but some picky eaters hold strong throughout adulthood. For whatever reason, they just have a limited array of the kinds of food they will eat. They stick to what they know and exclude the rest. This behavior is common, and it doesn't have to be an issue. As long as the picky eater does their best to try not to make it anyone else's problem, that's all you can ask for. 

There are measures you might have to take as a picky eater to ensure that you don't ruin any relationships. Eat a meal at home before going to a risky eating situation. Let your hosts know ahead of time how they can best accommodate you. And most of all, don't make anyone else suffer for your choices. It's not their fault that you don't like what they cooked, and you should never make them feel like it is. But not all picky eaters understand that. Some of them wreak havoc everywhere they go.

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  • An Asian man serves food to guests at a family dinner.
    via Unsplash+ (Victoria Romulo)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That was the issue with the woman in this story, who was not only a picky eater but seemed to have a problem with an entire culture's cuisine. Even more tricky, she married someone who came from that culture. So she had a clash with her mother-in-law and sought advice from the internet. 

  • WIBTA if I skipped family dinner night because it was my MIL's turn to cook?

    I, 23F and my MIL, 49F, have never had a good relationship. Shes very protective of my husband, and has always been sort of passive aggressive towards me. For context, shes Chinese. I dont mean this in any r de way, but i geniuinely cant stand Chinese food. I have tried to eat it multiple times and it just isnt my cup of tea. My husbands family has a monthly family dinner night, and we all take turns cooking for the family. My MIL refuses to cook anything that isnt chinese food, and says shes go
    via u/No-Parking7416
  • Our family dinner night is on a sunday, and I feel like itd be better if I just didnt show up at all, instead of asking / telling her to cook something else or just blatantly telling her I dislike chinese food. Ive tried telling her that Chinese food isnt what I prefer, and she just makes passive aggressive comments about me to the other family members.
    via u/No-Parking7416
  • She has also ruined the mood for me, not just the cooking but also her attitude. It seems that I can never get on her good side, so I have a gut feeling that itd just be better to not go altogether so I can avoid altercations. Also, Ive already told my husband and he has told me I can do whatever makes me most comfortable.
    via u/No-Parking7416

  • Commenters saw issues in her story.

    keesouth 1d ago . So you married I to a Chinese family and you think you 1. Won't ever have to eat Chinese food or 2. Can't find a single Chinese dish you might like. YTA. You just don't like your MIL
    via u/keesouth
  • SoccerProblem3547 23h ago ° Like Op is literally trying to make us believe that she can't choke down any Chinese dish Rice not even rice, there is literally almost always a rice on the table Tbh op sounds kinda r cist.... I can't eat anything of a whole culture ever...
    via u/SoccerProblem3547
  • • lamIrene 22h ago Edited 22h ago Exactly. Ive tried telling her that Chinese food isnt what I prefer, As if MIL is supposed to be catering to OP, lol. OP, YTA. Eat before you go. You shouldn't be expecting MIL to make dishes specifically for you. Your attitude doesn't make you look very good.
    via u/lamIrene
  • An Asian man serves food to a guest at a family dinner.
    via Unsplash+ (Victoria Romulo)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • South_I... • • 1d ago Edited 1d ago Oh come on. You do not have to tell her to cook something else or blatantly tell her you dislike her food or not show up at all. Show up, eat just a little, shut up about your tastes and making demands. Eat a burger beforehand or whatever if you need to. YTA for thinking you
    via u/South_Industry_1953
  • "have to" ber de about not liking the food someone serves for dinner. Ok, fine, not for thinking it, but you would definitely be the a h le if you actually acted on it the way you describe.
    via u/South_Industry_1953
  • That said, you don't have to go if you don't want to, of course. Especially since your husband too is fine with you skipping, don't go if you'd rather not. Just... don't justify it with "otherwise I'd have to diss her cooking to her face".
    via u/South_Industry_1953
  • Mystery-Ess · 1d ago I find it hard to believe there's not one Chinese dish that you like. You sound obnoxious.
    via u/Mystery-Ess
  • Significant_Yak_5371 • 1d ago You married a Chinese guy and you can't figure out a single Chinese dish that you can eat? Really? You could always just put some stirfry vegetables with rice. Sounds to me like you just don't like your MIL. I don't blame you for this. I once had an Asian mil and I couldn't stand her either, but don't blame the food. It's not the food.
    via u/Significant_Yak_5371
  • • Kurious4kittytx 1d ago YTA. You come off very ignorant and borderline r cist. How could you possibly think you'd marry into a Chinese family and never eat Chinese food? How could you not like a single Chinese dish, especially when it's a vast continent and its cuisine entails many, many different styles of cooking. So YTA.
    via u/Kurious4kittytx7416
  • ImpossibleReason2204 1d ago . I can see why your MIL doesn't care for you. Eat her food. She cooked for you. Grow up. YTA
    via u/ImpossibleReason2204
  • Lopsided_Recipe_4419. 1d ago YTA. I think her being Chinese does bother you and by proxy your husband. You married a man of a different race/ethnicity as you. His parents are going to be the same race and will often cook food they're familiar with. I don't see why that is a surprise now and why you can't s k it
    via u/Lopsided_Recipe_4419
  • up for a couple of hrs and eat the food of his people?! That his mom spent all day making. And on top of that you want to tell his mom to make something else?! Because "Chinese food isn't my thing". How entitled are you? Chinese people eat a lot of veggies, so pick around what you don't like and eat the veggies.
    via u/Lopsided_Recipe_4419
  • this_is_an_alaia • 1d ago YTA you married into a Chinese family and you're just expecting to never eat their food because you don't like it? What other parts of their culture do you plan to push out of your life because you don't like it.
    via u/this_is_an_alaia
  • Also, Chinese food is extremely diverse I do not believe there isn't a single dish you can't try and like
    via u/this_is_an_alaia
  • Eastern-Classroom437 • 1d ago YTA - eat before you go. There is so much variance in Chinese food that I find it hard to believe you can't find 1 thing you like. Are you like my niece? If its not a chicken nugget its not food? The fact you would rather further damage a relationship with your ILs over this and
    via u/Eastern-Classroom437
  • possibly your husband shows how short-sighted, entitled and narrow-minded you are. You are old enough to be polite and act like you have some home training. "She has also ruined the mood for me, not just the cooking but also her attitude." I'd bet cash money she'd say the same.
    via u/Eastern-Classroom437
  • AsethDearnight • 1d ago "I have tried to eat it multiple times, but..." With "it", you just described an entire incredibly diverse cuisine. Have you tried not dissing her cooking or insulting her culture before, and see where that gets you with her? YTA.
    via u/AsethDearnight
  • OkManufacturer767 1d ago • Eat a full dinner before you go. Take very small portions of the dishes you like the most and say something about counting calories. Don't insult your MIL and expect her to not have an attitude about it. Maybe she's on here asking if it would be r de to not invite you because all you do is insult her.
    via u/OkManufacturer767
  • Chance-Idea1090 1d ago • YTA. What part of Chinese food do you not like? There's a lot of different kinds out there. I don't understand how you can dismiss an entire line of food. It's like saying you don't like Mexican food when in reality you don't like the hot spice or onions and tomatoes in everything. Once you know the one or two ingredients you can go from there.
    via u/Chance-Idea1090
  • SQ_Madriel · 1d ago You're gonna skip your MiL's turn for the rest of your life? That doesn't seem like it will be helpful to your relationship at all. When it's your turn to cook, does she eat your food? Does she complain about it?
    via u/SQ_Madriel
  • Also, food and meals are an important part of sharing culture, have you considered how that repeatedly rejecting part of their culture can be insulting to your MiL, also continuing the poor relationship with her?
    via u/SQ_Madriel
  • Jess1ca1467 • 1d ago Chinese food is such a broad spectrum of different kinds of dishes, so I find it odd when someone says they don't like 'Chinese food' as if it's one thing. It doesn't sound like you have to put up with this very often and not turning up, while hardly illegal, is a bit ride. Is there really nothing you can eat even rice?
    via u/Jess1ca1467
  • TemptingPenguin369 • 1d ago YTA. It's wild to me that you happen to hate every single type of Chinese food. It seems more likely that you hate your MIL. Avoiding her at every meal she prepares isn't going to help your marriage. Be civil, show up, eat some rice and steamed or stir-fried vegetables.
    via u/TemptingPenguin369

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